I'd cut off a toe to get to some sleep

Having one of those nights were I just can't get to sleep...

Been back to bed about four times, and spent at least an hour each time hoping I won't wake up for a while, but it's just not working.

I've tried my usual tricks-

Thinking goodnight to each body part, starting with my toes till I feel a tingle of acknowledgement and move onto the next part.
........ No Luck

Reverse psychology, 'I don't need sleep, sleep is for pussies!'
........ Nope, it never works


Now I remember when I was younger, seeing a guy on TV who was treating people who had issues falling asleep. His 'trick' was to ask/tell your brain something like 'There's is nothing I can do tonight, that can't wait till tomorrow'. I remember it working a few times for me but do you think I can remember what that statement was?
Google, usually one of tried and true advisors, is being no help at all. How I wish I could find that statement and finally get some sleep.

My guy crush at training!!

Training was rough this week. I was 30mins early on Tuesday, so I walked until my session started and by the end I was wrecked. Today's session was worse. My alarm didn't work so I was asleep when Caz texted about training, I saw 4am and woke up on the couch, so not sure how much I slept. Dashed around (I hate being rushed) and out the door, not until stepping on the wet grass did I realise I wasn't wearing shoes, it really wasn't my morning.

So I get to training late, half asleep and only feeling 50%, this is so not a good look but I'm ready (I hope I'm not getting sick again). Training goes ok and Caz records my weight and measurements, I told her I didn't want to know the numbers, so will be interesting to see what changes in 6 weeks.

Anyway, we get to talking about something and she shows me a great photo of her family and there's a familiar face in the photo. Not Caz's, her Brother Chris! I met Chris at Tafe, it would be over 10 years ago now and had a huge crush on him, one of only 2 guys I've ever had crushes on. I used to think of Chris occassionaly and wonder how things turned out for him, now I know. Still single but interested in someone, living in Templestowe and almost a qualified personal trainer. I don't know if Caz was joking or not when she said he could use some experience with clients and was I up for it, Hell no Sista!. Writing this I still can't believe it. I was so freaked out and knowing he was upstairs (we trained at Caz's family home) I just wanted to hide, yet I also wanted to see him, weird hey! Anyway, as we were chatting, small world it being, it's come to be I also knew Caz's ex and she is still in contact with one of the Staff members I was really close too back then. Will be interesting what we chat about at the next session.

I've also got to start eating breakfast regularly as per Caz's advice and she wants proof. So ignore the upcoming food photos.

I now detest black folders.

I've started checking out different Personal Trainers in the area as walking is a no brainer, I'm wanting to get more out of my exercise routine. So Wednesday morning, I met up with Personal Trainer #1 Leigh from Pick Yourself Up Personal Training at a local cafe. Chatting for a while, I explained why I'd made contact, what I was hoping to gain, mentioned my injuries and then he opened this dreaded black folder (will explain why dreaded shortly) which I hadn't noticed him holding before. Opening the folder, he explains a bit about this paperwork he has and it's homework for me! The last thing I expected was homework, having had no sleep for 2 days at this stage, drinking the previous night, thinking of the paperwork I already have to sort through later that day from my move, and a date that night I've already postponed once, I had an image of myself slapping him in the face with the damn folder (sorry Leigh!) I didn't though, wouldn't be too good to make a scene at what I guess would be my new local shoppo. So wanting to get this out of the way, we organize a trial session the next morning. As he's leaving he reminds me to be as honest and open on the forms I can be, this will only work if I'm honest to myself. As I have an appointment close by soonish, I decided to stay and get this 'homework' out of the way.

Working through the forms starts off simple... name, address, 'the usuals', etc and then it gets to what I want to achieve and I'm stumped. What is it exactly that I want? Why do I want it? How would my current injuries keep me from doing physical activities? The thoughts start flowing and they don't stop. I get to my meeting and those questions keep racing through my mind. 3 hour meeting and I don't think much was achieved. Getting home, I stash the folder away and refuse to look at it while I relax watching a bit of wrestling. I see the folder again as I leave for my date, I debate ringing Leigh and canceling the whole thing but refrain, as I really do want to do this. So date goes well and I get home after 4am (we spent the night talking, that's it! Get your mind out of the gutter) Quick change and I get started on the paperwork from the move, knock it out in 2 hours, old life gone when these hit the post office later in the morning. 

Sitting down for a break, I spy the folder. I'd put the it and the questions out of my mind till then and now I've ran out of time, it has to be completed. So after questioning my motivation, second guessing the answers in my head, I forced myself to write it all down and I'm finished. Check the clock and it's 9am, yep another night with no sleep. Not complaining, it's my own fault but it helps explain what happens next. I change again, grab the stuff I need and head off, get halfway down my street and realise I've left the dreaded black folder on the counter. Head back, get the folder and go to reverse out of the driveway. I get the shock of my life when I this horrible bashing noise vibrates though my car, there's a woman bashing on the boot! I get out and she starts with the screaming 'You almost hit me', 'YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME', I look and see I haven't even reached the sidewalk yet, she's come into the property line and I can't help but watch her with a sly smile on my face. I ask her to settle down and then the biggest shock of all comes, she's slapped me across my face. I'm dumbfounded, she then looks at me horrified and starts walking away. Seriously woman, did I really need this now? Nothing I can do, I head off to meet Leigh knowing I'll now be late. Get there, out of the car, say good morning to Leigh and he asks how I'm doing. Still a bit shocked, all I can mutter is 'been better'.