No cards please!

My birthday is only a few days away and my friends have made sure I celebrate this year. Usually it's just Dinner with family and that's it. So I'm actually looking forward to this one as it's not just another day, although a little nervous as I don't know what they have planned for me.

But anyway, my family knows my dislike of cards. Birthday, Christmas, all those events where usually a card is appropriate, I don't like as I think they are a waste. Why spend $5 on a card to write 'To Claire, From Whoever,' that's all anyone usually writes on mine anyway. Pointless.


If I kept them it might be a different story but I don't, I read them and throw them away. In my perfect world, if someone wanted to write something to me they would write it on the back of a receipt or used envelope, possibly even a page out of a note book but never would they go into a shop to purposely spend money on a card that could to towards buying me a drink, something I would much prefer.

New home

I've found the place where I want to live!

I'd cut off a toe to get to some sleep

Having one of those nights were I just can't get to sleep...

Been back to bed about four times, and spent at least an hour each time hoping I won't wake up for a while, but it's just not working.

I've tried my usual tricks-

Thinking goodnight to each body part, starting with my toes till I feel a tingle of acknowledgement and move onto the next part.
........ No Luck

Reverse psychology, 'I don't need sleep, sleep is for pussies!'
........ Nope, it never works


Now I remember when I was younger, seeing a guy on TV who was treating people who had issues falling asleep. His 'trick' was to ask/tell your brain something like 'There's is nothing I can do tonight, that can't wait till tomorrow'. I remember it working a few times for me but do you think I can remember what that statement was?
Google, usually one of tried and true advisors, is being no help at all. How I wish I could find that statement and finally get some sleep.

Torture = A surprise you know is coming

Birthday is coming up in less than a month and my bestie has something planned for the weekend before. It's a surprise she says, but everyone knows but me. It's driving me crazy, your not supposed to know about surprises! But if you know something is happening and aren't aloud to know about it, it's torture!!

She's offered to tell me but I don't want to know, but I do want to know... Grrrr

She's told me I need to be up and ready to go at 6am on a Saturday morning, the only things I could guess was hot air ballooning and Tough Mudder, a really tough obstacle course thing which I am so not ready for. Neither of them she says.

Sexiest Men alive???

Sexiest men alive? Not in my opinion.

Let's take Brad Pitt, amazing body, most kissable lips, jawline to die for... or so they say.

George Clooney, clean cut, handsome and suave, not in my book.


Is it media to blame, telling us who we should see as sexy? Therefore we take on their opinions as our own.

What is sexy to one person, may be different to what we see as sexy and that should be rejoiced.

Time for an update.

So it's been a while since I've posted and I've have writing up posts in the background but they weren't complete. Ergo, not published.

I wonder how far back I should go or just mention bits and pieces... well by the end of this post, we'll both know!

The car firstly has been running well, not getting rid of my 'Ute' yet. Although I did have a weird sound in it for a while, like an empty soda can rolling across asphalt, stripped the car looking for this can to no avail, but a friend looked and found a marble under the drivers seat carpet. I still don't know how it got there but the sound has gone.

I made an amazing friend one of my nights out about 2 months ago now, Melissa. It was totally unexpected but she's been just what I needed. Through her I've become more social and she's helped me think about things a different way.

The dating situation has been a bit rough, there's a lot of mud out there and it's hard to find those Diamonds. I thought I had one but he turned out to be a Zirconia, the potential was there but... I don't know, he's a bit weird and not in a good way.

What else...

Oh my training is going well, but with Winter and finances setting in, I've stopped the personal training sessions at the park and have signed up for a 24/7 gym. So those nights I can't sleep, I can really tire myself out.

I've been a bit sick this week, it was most likely just a bug as I haven't really been looking after myself well. It's just taking a while to get over.

Mum is doing really well with her stent, I'd say she's fully recovered and is even better than before. She's also quit smoking, but still on patches but she's getting there.

I did one session of my writing course and let that slip, just like high school, socialising always gets my attention more.

Not sure what else to mention so will leave it there for now.

Arrgh!

ANZAC morning at the Shrine

Debated back and forth all day Wednesday, whether to go to the ANZAC Day Dawn service at the Shrine yesterday morning. I knew it wasn't going to rain but I had a date Wednesday night, I needed to sleep but had a PT session later in the morning anyway, ...long story short, after my date ended at 1am, I decided to head in. I stopped by home to change clothes and waste a bit of time, ended up on POF for a while which was entertaining.

Years past, I'd headed to the service but not stayed because it either started raining on the way in, I couldn't get a carpark or the mass of people was just too much. This time I changed strategy, I'd get in early, get some photos and get myself a good spot to watch from. Well in theory it worked. I got in there at 3am, no-one else was there! I got the best park, as close to the Shrine as I could legally get (they'd closed off so many parking areas) and after a disagreement with an over eager parking marshal thinking he knew best, started the walk up to the Shrine. From my car it took 10 minutes to walk up, that was with a few stops for photos (mentioning now as it will come up later). It was so dark on the forecourt, the only light was the one highlighting the Shrine itself and a slight glow from the Eternal Flame between bodies huddled together. 

So after a bit of wandering around and more photos, I found a good spot to watch from, right up the front. So this was the hard bit, I didn't bring a chair, it became too crowded to consider sitting on the ground, so I stood there, in the same damn spot from 3:30amish till 6:30amish. My feet were so so sore, there was a couple of times I thought about leaving but I'd already stuck it out this long. And I couldn't really try and work my way out through the massive crowd with the service was on. So the host I guess you'd call him, delved a little into the history of the ANZAC's, a schoolgirl spoke, as did a returning Afghanistan soldier. Tears of course welled in my eyes at the sound of The Last Post, it's the soulfulness of the bugle I think. Guns were fired and 30 minutes later the service was over. I was expecting more, not sure what, just more.

So now I can cross that one off my bucket list. I've done it, doubt I'll do it again.

Back to the 10 minute walk from my car thing for a sec, I mentioned it because, believe this! With the amount of people attending the service, all leaving at once, it took me well over 30minutes to get back to my car. How nuts is that!?!

Sunday night, I should have stayed home but so glad I didn't

Just heading out the door on another date Sunday night I lost my cuddle buddy Deep, he rang and apparently his ex was didn't like that he was cuddling (no sexual contact at all) with another woman. Although I am fine with it, I really don't want to get between them, I had put time into this 'partnership' and am disappointed as I know what a gem I had found. I don't know, maybe it was me, ...well it was me but you know what I mean.
I had to put that out of my mind though, for the date I was heading to when Deep rang. It was a quickie date, was speaking to the guy in the afternoon and agreed on a date that night. Quick and easy, it's a great break from the messaging back and forth and forgetting details. So I met Tool at the Bayswater Hotel for a drink, good looking guy, tradie with a great smile. Shame I didn't get to speak to him much, he was all 'let's go have sex, I don't live too far', 'how about a bit of fun in the back of my car', 'wanna **** in the bushes outside' and my favourite from the night was when the unzipped his pants and made jerking motions with his hands, standing at the bar mind you. What a tool! 10 minutes that lasted before I gave him a suggestion about Mrs Palmer and left.
So, safety wise I wasn't going straight home in case he followed me, which he did for a bit but then he dropped off just before the Manhattan in Ringwood. This guy made me feel so insecure and knowing there was security as the Manhattan, I headed in there.
With the night I had, old habits crept in and I reached for the hidden ciggie stash in my glovebox. With $50 in my bag, I went into the Manhattan and played the pokies for a bit. I had a win and opted to leave, it had been about an hour, I doubt Tool would have waited outside that long. Being cautious though I lit a smoke and got talking with the Security officer there. He talked about his ex and the issues he's having seeing his 10 month old Daughter, I told him about losing my cuddle buddy and Tool and we chatted for over an hour. He even offered me a few cuddles, asking each time which was sweet. He showed me a photo on his phone which I got him to send to me -->
Anyway to finish the story, I was talking with this guy for hours and it was never awkward,  he made me feel very comfortable, just what I needed. I sent him a text when I got home wishing him the best with his Daughter (got his number off the photo message) and we texted back and forth for another hour, I had to call it quits for the night, it was 4am. Will have to stop by the Manhattan again sometime...

What I've learnt... One door shuts another opens!

My guy crush at training!!

Training was rough this week. I was 30mins early on Tuesday, so I walked until my session started and by the end I was wrecked. Today's session was worse. My alarm didn't work so I was asleep when Caz texted about training, I saw 4am and woke up on the couch, so not sure how much I slept. Dashed around (I hate being rushed) and out the door, not until stepping on the wet grass did I realise I wasn't wearing shoes, it really wasn't my morning.

So I get to training late, half asleep and only feeling 50%, this is so not a good look but I'm ready (I hope I'm not getting sick again). Training goes ok and Caz records my weight and measurements, I told her I didn't want to know the numbers, so will be interesting to see what changes in 6 weeks.

Anyway, we get to talking about something and she shows me a great photo of her family and there's a familiar face in the photo. Not Caz's, her Brother Chris! I met Chris at Tafe, it would be over 10 years ago now and had a huge crush on him, one of only 2 guys I've ever had crushes on. I used to think of Chris occassionaly and wonder how things turned out for him, now I know. Still single but interested in someone, living in Templestowe and almost a qualified personal trainer. I don't know if Caz was joking or not when she said he could use some experience with clients and was I up for it, Hell no Sista!. Writing this I still can't believe it. I was so freaked out and knowing he was upstairs (we trained at Caz's family home) I just wanted to hide, yet I also wanted to see him, weird hey! Anyway, as we were chatting, small world it being, it's come to be I also knew Caz's ex and she is still in contact with one of the Staff members I was really close too back then. Will be interesting what we chat about at the next session.

I've also got to start eating breakfast regularly as per Caz's advice and she wants proof. So ignore the upcoming food photos.